My wonderful husband of more than 23 years is happily snoring upstairs right now in our bedroom. Needless to say, I am finding it difficult to relax. The noise to some might just sound like simple snoring, but to me, to an experienced nurse, it sounds like he maybe has a collapsed trachea, or perhaps some other kind of blockage. I wonder at times, is he even getting enough oxygen during the day? Could this be why he forgets things on the grocery list? Could this be the reason he requires multiple reminders throughout the day? Oh my goodness, I’m helping him with excuses now. Trust me, he doesn’t need any help in that department.

When Vic and I were dating, we were too young to take notice of these minor obstacles. Marriage, as anyone who has been married knows, and I’m sure anyone who is single suspects, comes with a list of compromises and idiosyncrasies. People in love do their utmost to adjust ever so delicately to the changes they may have to make, or understand the new behaviors their partner possesses. It’s not easy at all. As a matter of fact, it can be quite difficult. Especially if you have been single for a long time. Or you have been with this person your whole life and suddenly something changes. Snoring can happen out of the blue. Hot flashes can happen too. Even flatulence happens. Actually, it has always happened, but now with the comfort of commitment and love, flatulence is now a game…or for some talented souls, it is sometimes introduced like revelry in the morning! Disgusting.

I work the night shift, so three glorious nights out of the week I am not home to be subjected to this God-awful noise. Before long I will be shipping him over to the hospital, and demand a full workup to find out what in fact is wrong with him. Why does he mimic the sounds of various farm animals?
While they do their intensive work-up and hopefully a complete sleep study, I will head back home to sleep. Finally in peace and quiet! I could even suggest that they keep him a few days and make sure his poor heart isn’t being affected in any way. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to him, except maybe get some rest at an alternate location for a short time.

I have tried all the usual things to help him out as far as home remedies. Kicking him and smacking his head (gently) are effective but not in the long term. Putting the cat near him so that she will nudge him when he gets too loud is also helpful, but sometimes Dakota loses patients with him and begs to leave the room. I don’t blame her one bit. We did the “breathe right” strips too, those made him sound like he needed to be placed on a ventilator. So dear reader, I’m at my wits end as you can see.

This is a great time in my little story (or little rant) to ask what all the other lady readers (or men) do to control the noise levels in their bedrooms. And I’m not talking about the good kinds of noise levels, I’m talking about the snoring, teeth grinding, or the ridiculous chatter during dreams. Perhaps there are even more crazy behaviors I haven’t even touched upon that you might be willing to share. What insanity in the bedroom is driving you to look for more peaceful accommodations?
Since Human Diaries is for sharing some of our true and meaningful stories that might educate, support, or inspire others. Let’s start by helping each other get a better night’s rest so we can write and read more, improve our focus, and have it all make sense! Let’s get this conversation going!

Tags : Awesome HusbandHumurous MondayMy wonderful husband
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