“When you marry someone, remember something…you must enjoy talking to your spouse. If there is no conversation, there is no marriage!” ~ MMM
The point is, a good, honest, and committed relationship needs to have that magic WITHOUT money, an important job, a fancy lifestyle, the sexual chemistry, the nice cars, the expensive gifts, lavish vacations, a hot body, a healthy constitution, and so on, and so on.
All those other things are fantastic and certainly have the ability to make life easier and more interesting. Yet the scary truth is that any of those aforementioned benefits one may be blessed with, can just as easily be taken away in a heartbeat. Sometimes it’s a good idea to strip it down. Place the focus on the two people, and only the two people. It may be interesting to learn how the communication process reinvents itself with less distractions.
There have been a few times in my own relationship when I have been forced to look at the bigger picture. What would my marriage be like with less money coming in? How would our relationship handle cancer? What if I can’t earn money anymore because I am too ill to work? Perhaps vacations may be something we have to live without. Unexpected job loss HAS happened to us in the past. Illness has touched our lives in a big way, many times, and in several different situations. Life is ever changing.
Like millions of couples, we too, have had to face uncertainty. Whenever we are rattled and we are looking for better footing, we remember one thing. We fell in love as best friends. We were 15 years old and had no benefits, no jobs, no cars, no money, no fancy anything. What we did have was the ability to pass notes to each other in school. We had the ability to meet in the hallway and stairwells between classes for a quick kiss. We had the ability to use our parents phone and talk into the wee hours of the night. We watched TV together, all while still on the phone. These exchanges made our relationship totally solid. I don’t know what I would do without our conversations, without those shared moments. Before long we were finishing each other sentences.
We still watch TV together, we still chat on the phone for about an hour a day, and we still write notes…even if it is via text or email. Sure, we have been blessed by some of the fancy extras through the years, but we are wise enough to know that they are not terribly important to a happy relationship. The happiest couples are best friends too. They are on the same side of the struggle. The are teammates for life.
I write this tonight because I see far too many people placing importance on nonsense. It’s time to get back down to basics. That’s what I want my daughters to understand. Victor and I are FAR from perfect. We have made our mistakes too. Shit, we still do. Yet, we have never given up on the TEAM we have created. With the recent bizarre political climate that we all have to contend with as a nation, we should, at the every least, strengthen our own principle relationships and family values. I know if Victor has my back, and I certainly have his, we can get through just about anything together. It all starts with a great conversation with the person we love.
So bravo to all those couples that get it. Keeping things strong and knowing how to decipher the important from the unimportant. You help make the world a better place for yourselves, and more importantly, for the little ones. I wish you all peace, love, and health. Keep it real, and keep the conversation alive.
#amwriting #relationshipgoals #Talktoeachother #lovelistens #humandiaries #team #couples #marriage
